In limbo...

So I was planning to breakup with my boyfriend this week, it did not go as planned. He said things to me I dare not repeat as I am still trying to forget them and things about a friend of mind that are half truths at best. We yelled and argued but we had our first honest conversation all year. He apologized for what he said after but we plan to givte couples counseling a go and I will probably be in individual counseling at year.

The one thing we have to do is build back trust with one another He doesn't trust me and I really don't trust him. At least he did finally admit he has been way too emotionally dependent on me. I told him how much I needed my own space and to have a life outside of the relationship. The only things he do thst I'm still angry about was he believed I couldn't accomplish certain tasks when honestly feel we can't live up to one another's cleaning expectations and things about my family I still want to punch him in the face for, I don't care if you mess with me, you talk bad about my family we will have words and they won't be nice ones am saving this topic for couples counseling considering his parents should have gotten divorced and the marriage was a sham and how he cares about the way things look rather than the way they are. In other words stumpy doesn't have a leg to stand on..

He agreed to trying to work at it for 3 to 6 months this is our hail mary pass if we can't reconcile after this at least we can part ways amicably and by then we will both have acquired enough skills and funds to do okay by ourselves. That's my hope anyway and we can address all apartment issues that need fixing asap that he worries will be charged for the apartment and our relationship are both a hot mess, we can at least try to work on both so if I leave it will be on our own terms.

I don't know if this is the best or worst decision I've ever made, but if we can't make it through this without it turning into war of the roses situation, then we really shouldn't be together. Either way I'm hoping we both grow up more and stand up to one another as needed, because I thinks that is what it is going to take to make it through this not totally emotionally scared. I have individual counseling tmr and referrals for a separate couple counselor and individual counselor. It's going to be a long year. If anyone out there has gone through similar trials and tribulations I would love to hear your thoughts.

Xoxo,

The multifaceted nerd

Th

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